Thursday, October 2, 2008

I've Been Thinking....

Well, I have! ALot! I read so many of your journals and I really love getting to know you all. I feel like I know what you do, what you enjoy, who is in your families, and in some cases, what made you who are today. What I am trying to say is, that often times, so many of the people whose journals I enjoy reading, have the courage to write about the hard times in their lives. I really admire that. 

I want to start opening up a bit more about who I am and what makes me tick. I know that I would never feel comfortable writing the things I had originally intended to write as I am a psychotherapist and I am from a family of psychologists and doctors and SF is a really small town. No, really it is.
 OK, now see why I don't write about my painful growing up years. Sure it wasn't all bad, but it was not something I would ever willingly return to. As a matter of fact, the struggle for my father's love continues to this day. It really is a sad situation. I just need to really get clear that as painful as it is, it is not of my making and try as I do be close, it is just not possible.
Oh lookie there, I opened up!
(I find myself erasing things that I think might enrage my Father were he to read it. So, perhaps I should refrain from writing about that situation until he is no longer with us. No, he is not sick...or very old. And I am glad about both).

But I do so enjoy reading about the happy lives some of you had. I also cry with some of you. You have no idea how much I empathize with the situations or your past. I admire the strong people you have become and the struggles you have endured. I appreciate the fact that our journeys are life long and that we are in charge, for the most part, of our own destiny. 

I think I have gone all over the place here, but what I was trying to say is, I appreciate all of you and I will try to open up a bit more about myself. I feel like a voyeur and it makes me feel bad.
I just hope you understand, that between the journal that did not publish entries and the discomfort letting it all out and potentially being read by a client (or dear ole' Dad)...
But I would like to open let people in more in the future. That was the purpose of the journal from its inception.

Until next time!
L

3 comments:

Tawnya said...

I think that when we all read each other's journals we are voyers in some way... It is nothing to feel bad about.... Sometimes it is hard to write about your own life. Some of my entries are because I need to get it out of my head.... I don't know... I am not speaking to my family and they don't know about this journal of mine, so that makes it easy.....

Suzy said...

I put in my journal what I think. My family reads it and so I am 99% honest. However!!! Jason's family read too and if said what I wanted to then God help me!! One of these days I will write about them but for now...harmony reigns. It's a tricky one sometimes I have to write my thoughts down though, however random..like in this reply!!!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Thanks for sharing, and I hope this community can bring you some joy and insight, as well as an outlet for you. I lived in SF Area for six years, and love the area :o)