Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tremendous Stress

I have not been around much lately due to, well, tremendous stress. I am trying very hard to do what needs to be done to get past his difficult time. I know many people are going through similar hard times. I tend to isolate when I feel this much stress. I am not much into talking or sharing it. I become a bit incapacitated, unfortunately, and I am fighting that. I try each day to figure out what need I need to do to make things better.

I think the toughest nugget here is the financial one. 
I think I have to find a day job. I have had the luxury of staying at home with my kids during the day and working in the evenings since I delivered my first premature baby. Now, however, that just won't cut it. We are not making it. Yikes! This economy sucks pond water!

Not that I didn't think this day would come, I did. Especially living in an expensive city. We have gone through some rough patches before. Neither one of us have recession proof jobs. As a matter of fact, our jobs get cut out when times are hard. 

So, I am just praying hard that something good happens soon. When I say things are bad, I mean bad. 

I went to look at the location of a job I was going to apply for. I took the kids with me for a quick ride after school yesterday. When we got there, the kids begged me not only to get the heck out of that area, but to NOT apply for it as it was in a really bad area of town. I had no idea that just over that hill things got that bad. My oldest boy said he knew from YOUTUBE. Kids!
My cop friend told me I was not to apply for a job on that street, but I had to look for myself. She was right.

So now, back to the drawing board.....and praying!

I look forward to having some time to visit all of your blogs again. I miss you!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


OK, come on, this is California, people! How on earth did proposition 8 pass in THIS state?
Yes, I'm bitter. I am reading the hate letters now, well I stopped as it sickened me. I could not believe what I was seeing. We vote Obama in by a landslide and we can't allow people who love each other to have the rights to marry as everyone else...what? One step forward, one step back in this state, I'm afraid.

I just don't understand the hypocrisy. How does this affect anyone else's quality of life? How would it affect, in a negative way, anyone's taxes? I looked to see if there were any reasons why people would conceivably not vote pass this from a financial perspective, and I found none. 

I know I don't usually talk about politics, but come on, I am just so ashamed of the people in this state. 

I have been thinking about tolerance lately as it applies to many things, mostly political differences/ideas, and one would think/ hope we would have tolerance, but I just don't see it. Here in SF you are expected to think ONE WAY. Heck, I read several blogs yesterday and was instructed to leave or something along those lines if I did not vote for Obama. Oh and that was on the heels of instructing readers to go vote. I get that that was a joke, sort of, but by the same token, we also know that there is at least a grain of truth in all jokes.

I don't tell people what to think or feel and I resent others telling me, or even threatening with bulling tactics. So, what, I can't play with you/read your blog if I am not of like mind? Bummer!

Rant over.

Sorry people, it has really been fueled by living here in SF. There is zero tolerance for difference. Believe it or not. 

I have a magnet on my fridge, which I bought in New Orleans, which reads, Be Nice or Leave. 
I don't think it's too much to ask.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Spoke to the Mom

First of all, I  want to thank all of you for your kind support. Your thoughtful advice, words or wisdom and support mean so much to me. I just wanted to let you know.

I wish it didn't have to be on Halloween, but I never see the Mom at school. I am there all the time as I volunteer for everything. I have to catch her when I can. That being said, I caught her when I could and we had a little chat. She was quite glad I informed her of what was going on and of what others were saying, etc.. Her daughter came over right in the middle of our talk. She has a bit of attitude, that one!

My son also saw us speaking, and asked me what I said. I told him and he was fine with it. Seemingly. He knew I HAD to tell them about the "red flags" for emotional issues/suicide that emerged in the emails. NO ifs ands or buts. We also discussed that this could simply been teen girl drama, but it was not my place to make that call. He really is reasonable and mature kid.

Poor kid emailed her all weekend with no reply. I had to finally tell him that she was most likely restricted from the internet. I was expecting him to be a little bit mad at me, but nope.

On Mondays I do Yard Duty at school during lunch time. The girl made it a point to not look at me. That's fine. She has a bit of a 'tude. After school I asked my son how things went for her and for them. He said she got yelled at for 3-4 hours. I questioned that... The yelled at part and he said, "Yeah, it was probably just a talk."
I could not imagine parents yelling at their kid for being intense or emotional. I just can't. Not these people. He also said she was not allowed to be on the internet" until, like, the end of the year." I said, that is just next month. He had forgotten that it was not long at all.
He went on to say that she was not telling him how she feels about him or her emotions. I said it sounded like she is cooling it down a little bit. He actually sounded relieved.

As he left for school this morning he called out, "Bye Mom, I love you!"